Real or Not Real
by girlonfirekatniss
Summary: Peeta has a flashback and hurts Katniss. Peeta's episodes never did cease. How will the Girl on Fire and Boy with the Bread deal with the situation? First fanfic, so please read.


Chapter 1

*Peeta POV*

The other side of the bed is cold and empty. I open my eyes slightly; trying to ward off the morning sunlight, when I notice Katniss is not there. She never wakes up before me. I start to panic, where is Katniss? I don't hear a sound.

That's when it happens.

My mind goes blank. The shaking begins, and I curl up into a fetal position, trying to fight it, trying not to cave in to distorted memories that the Capitol forced on me. Even when they're gone, they can torture me.

Not now, I tell myself. Fight it.

And then the room starts to spin. The room spins in and out of view, and flashes of red spin across my vision. And then my brain is consumed by one thought: Kill.

She's a mutt, the voice whispers in my ear. She killed your family, caused the destruction of your home.

She's something created by the Capitol to destroy you. Kill her."

I threw back the covers and stomped downstairs. I walked into the kitchen and saw her. Katniss.

She turned to me and gave me a slight smile. "Peeta…I was making breakfast for you. Do you want to eat now?"

_She's beautiful_, came a sudden thought, as I stared into her deep grey eyes, freeing me from the murderous zone my brain was in right now. But the evil overcame it. _That's how she tricks everyone. That's how she uses you. Don't trust her. The knife is lying right there. Kill her. _

She came towards me, and it was the expression on her face, the smile that seemed to mock me, that dark braid that prompted the darkness in me. _Don't_, said the part of me that was trying to bring me back into the light. _She's not a mutt. Bring yourself back to reality, Peeta. _

I was confused.

Maybe the good could have won out, but that was when she came and hugged me, her warm body crashing against mine. And that was the breaking point. "YOU FILTHY MUTT! HOW DARE YOU COME NEAR ME? YOU KILLED MY FAMILY, DESTROYED MY HOME AND YOU ARE COMING TO KILL ME! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" I yelled as I grabbed a big knife and advanced towards her. She was so thin; I could easily snap her twig-like figure.

She looked at me in shock, eyes wide as saucers as tears ran down her cheeks. Her voice trembled. "Not real, Peeta. I love you. I love you, Peeta. Please snap out of it. It's not real. Remember-" Before she said another word, I grabbed her waist, and pushed her towards the wall. Katniss tried to get free, but my grip was too strong. I pressed the knife into her neck, drawing droplets of blood. She winced, tears slipping out of her eyes, but with an expression of absolute love in her silver irises.

The sadistic part of me wanted to hear her scream out loud as she bled to death at my feet. I plunged the knife deep into her abdomen.

This time, she screamed, a long, haunting cry that jolted me more than anything.

My mind cleared and I stared at the woman I loved, her blood on my hands as she fell to her knees, and curled up on her side. "Peeta, I'll be leaving you shortly. Remember that I will always love you. I'll never forget how you changed me; how you managed to break my walls down and see the real Katniss. Please don't grieve me for the rest of your life, and never think that what happened was your fault. Move on in life, marry a woman who deserves you more than me. I could live so many lifetimes and not deserve to have you. I love you…" Katniss's voice trails off.

What did I do?

She starts to convulse, and a big pool of blood forms on the ground around her. That's when the situation hits me.

I killed her. I killed my wife, the woman who forgave me even on the brink of death. "KATNISS, NO!" I scream and fall to my knees beside her. "Please, please don't leave me. Please stay with me…" I sobbed. "HAYMITCH! PLEASE HELP! HAYMITCH!" I yelled as I cradled her in my arms.

"I'm so sorry, Katniss. Please don't leave me."

And that's when the realization strikes, as I hold my dying love in my arms. Maybe the Capitol never left.

Maybe the darkness in me was never gone.

_Please review! _


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